Turn The Page…

“Every day we're standing in a time capsule
Racing down a river from the past
Every day we're standing in a wind tunnel
Facing down the future coming fast”

- Rush

Another year come and almost gone… Didn’t we just mark our entry into the 2000’s last year? What? That was SIX years ago almost… Where have the years gone? It’s been how long since I was there? …that I did that? …that I saw them? I’m getting old…

It seems like almost yesterday when I was looking forward to getting out of high school… Carefree days visiting with friends, staying up all night, walking around town, playing tag all over large bales of hay, playing AD&D through an entire weekend, racing along back country roads… Where has life gone? What have I to show for all the years so far? What will I have to show in the future?

The past is now so clear, the present is starting to fade, and the future is obscured… What is coming towards me down the river of time?

To all… Happy New Year! May your future be bright…

At What Price, Immortality…?

For as long as I can remember, I have liked History. So much, in fact, that I at one time entertained the thoughts of getting a degree in History and either working for the Library of Congress, or finding a nice, quiet, conservative college campus somewhere in the mountains (I would prefer the Rocky Mountains) to teach History.

I started college working on three majors: Information Technologies (as I also love computers), History, and Political Science. Needless to say after the first two semesters, I came to a cross road of decision; stop killing myself with credit overload, save money, graduate sooner, and go for something that will make me money OR focus on something I had a true passion for, that wouldn’t make me a lot of money, but that I could immerse myself in gladly for the rest of my life…or until dementia sets in, whichever comes first. Needless to say, I choose the money… [Break to listen to B.O.C. on the Internet radio.]

So, here I am few lustrums later working in I.T. It’s been good to me, but I still dream of history… Which brings me to my point…

I have always been drawn to stories of immortality, or time travel, or being something with a much, much longer life span than what is normal for the human race. This explains why I enjoy stories by Poul Anderson, H. G. Wells, and Roger Zelazny.

Time travel (H. G. Wells) would at least offer me the opportunity to see history like no one else has, but for a finite time. Likewise, a much longer life span (Roger Zelazny) like an Amberite would allow me not only to see history, but to create and recreate it by traversing to different shadows of reality. But again, for a finite time. Immortality however, (Poul Anderson) as found in “The Boat Of A Million Years” could be the most fascinating option. These people were immortal and could live thousands and thousands of years. However, the immortality came with a twist… These people could be killed if hurt badly enough. Were they lucky enough, however, life went on and on and on…

But what if I had the opportunity to become immortal, and very difficult to kill… In fact, what if I had to kill to survive, to maintain my immortality… Yeah… Good old vampire type immortality…

Either way, after a few hundred years, or a few thousand years, of existence, what would I be? Would my memories fade over time even as they do as we live our 70, 80, 90 years as human mortals? Would I still find things in the world that were new and exciting? People? Philosophies? What place would I have in the world? Would I still be human? Would I still be sane? Would I still feel for others? Love them? Care about them? After all of the loss, the separation over time, would I still care to have relationships? Would my knowledge and experiences of all the centuries be truly useful? Would I still be young, or would I feel extremely old, tired, and useless?

What price would I pay eventually for immortality? Or what price might the world pay for my existence?

Life Sucks. Get A Helmet, Okay?

Well... If any of you have ever listened to older Denis Leary stuff, then you know that isn't quite how the line goes, but it will suffice.

I could use a helmet today… A really, really big one… Bigger than the one Dark Helmet wore in Spaceballs… In fact, I’m not sure anyone really makes a helmet as big as the one I would like to have had on today, because basically boys and girls… Life sucks! At least it does today.

This is all work related. And I like my job, don’t get me wrong. It’s a good environment, with good people, with a good salary, and good benefits. But, as a manager, there are times when I really hate my job. Most of those times have to do with having to manage people. Today is a primary example of a bad people management day…

I had to fire someone on my staff today… Nine days before freaking Christmas, and I have to tell this person that, Hey, Merry Christmas… You’re fired!!! Happy Holidays!! Enjoy the start of the New Year in the unemployment line!!!!

Was the termination justified? Yeah… But right before Christmas? I had to do it, I know I did, and it wasn’t my fault this person did the things they did to warrant termination… But right before Christmas??? {FYI… I wanted to at least wait until January… Wasn’t an option left open to me…}

SO… I get to tell someone that just bought a new house a few months ago and is trying to get on with life that not only do you have no money for Christmas gifts, but you have no money now for the house payment, or the car payment, or food, or electricity, or gas, or…or…or… SIGH…………..

I have an obligation to my company to do the right thing… I have no problem with that… I would fire my own mother if I had a business reason to do so… BUT NOT RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!!!

Oh well… Life sucks, get a helmet!

Insomnia Is An Art Form...

I want to sleep… I have to get up in three hours… I worked 11 hours yesterday… I’ve worked many more over the past two weeks getting ready to move the office from one location to the other. I’m already tired from all of that, and now, I can’t sleep. I went to bed five hours ago, but sleep has not come… Anyone have a really big hammer???

I guess it could also be that I’m going to the hospital tomorrow for tests. This will be the second time as the first time they were unable to complete the tests to the point of having any useful information. I’ve already been told that most likely what they fine is going to require surgery. This will only confirm the suspicions. I’m not looking forward to this, and given my already tired frame of mind and body, I think this is why I am unable to slumber tonight.

This really isn’t true insomnia… I’ve suffered that before, many years ago. Contrary to popular beliefs, sleep depravation will not cause you to go insane…assuming you were already insane to begin with, which I think maybe back then I might have qualified for the term. Who knows…

Well… I know I won’t sleep while typing on a computer, so I guess maybe I should stop and try to rest. But it is so convenient still being in bed with a wireless laptop.

Of Winter, A Wolf, And Twilight...

I imagine myself as Elric of Melnibone… I have been called by Man the White Wolf, and many other names… I was in the Northern Wastes when an omen showed itself to me and beckoned me to follow… It was a white wolf… I have followed on impulse, starting a journey through a frozen land ensconced within eternal twilight…

I follow the white wolf not knowing where I am going or why… I have no companions; I have no friends to accompany me… Only Stormbringer at my side, now howling for souls, but there are none to feed the demon, and as such, my strength dwindles, my life ebbs, and I know it is not long before I will perish in this hellish place, alone, cold, and as empty as the land through which I journey. But I must follow where the white wolf leads as I am drifting through the multiverse and must find myself back to sanity, or that at least which I call sanity. Without a guide, I am also lost. As it would seem, I am doomed.

Where are you Arioch!? Donblas!? Xiombarg!? Won’t one of you show yourself to feed my sword? Come for me!!! I await you!!!

But nothing… Just the cold… Just the emptiness… Just the white wolf leading me onward…

A Day That Will Live In Infamy…

December 7, 1941… A little before 8:00 a.m. (Oahu, Hawaii time), about 180 planes launched from Japanese carriers attacked the American Pacific fleet stationed at Pearl Harbor without warning. The attack, carried out in two waves, cost the lives of about 2400 Americans, 1177 of them alone lost when the USS Arizona exploded and sank. A little over twenty ships were damaged; all but three were eventually returned to service. More than 300 of our aircraft were lost or destroyed. It was a stunning victory for a country to achieve over the United States given how far away Japan was and how poor they were in resources. It was also a costly mistake by Japan as it galvanized America in a way they never expected and brought a unified, resource rich and technologically sound country into World War II.

Why should we remember this attack every year? If for no other reason it would be due to the historical significance of the date in American history… Or to remember yet another sacrifice made for this country by our military personnel… Or to remind us that there are those in the world still today that seek to bring harm through violence to our country and are prepared to do so without warning… Does 9/11 ring a bell?

It was Thomas Jefferson who said, “The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” It was true then, it is still true today.

Blog Chain Letters...

Ok... Thanks to "another random slacker" I had to take the time to actually dredge up memories from the past to complete this little The Five Things MEME. [Side Note to ars: May Arioch taste your soul sooner than later...] Anyway, here goes...

10 YEARS AGO

I was suffering from severe clinical depression… My marriage had failed in divorce earlier in the year… My Ex and her new husband had fallen out of site (against court orders) and I was heading into the Christmas season not knowing where my daughter was, how she was doing, or anything… I was trying to scrape enough money together to get a lawyer to take a contempt case back into court… I had buried my father in late September… And so far in the year, 12 other members of my family had died… I was having thoughts about reenacting one particular scene out of “It’s A Wonderful Life.”

5 YEARS AGO

I was working in an I.T. position for a globally known electronics manufacture. The money was good, the job was good, and I was trying to find a polite way to decline the attentions of someone who wanted to adopt my last name as her own. I had a nice little apartment with a fireplace and a balcony. I was starting to enjoy life somewhat. I was looking forward to the time off (16 paid days at the end of December) from my job during which I was going home for a family Christmas dinner and to visit some old friends.

1 YEAR AGO

My son turned two towards the end of the month. I was a few months into a new I.T. position and was really enjoying the job and the company. Overall life was going along pretty good.

5 YUMMY THINGS

Chili, Mr. Bobe’s Pizza, my Mom’s vegetable soup, Cherry pie, a good cup of coffee.

5 SONGS I KNOW BY HEART

“Black Blade” & “Veteran Of The Psychic Wars” (Blue Oyster Cult), “It’s Been Awhile” (Staind), “How You Remind Me” (Nickelback), “Another One Rides The Bus” (Weird Al Yankovic

5 THINGS I WOULD DO WITH A LOT OF MONEY

Play in one high stakes poker game in Vegas, Take care of family and friends, Pay off all debts, Start my own bookstore, Giggle when looking at my bank balance.

5 THINGS I WOULD NEVER WEAR

Spandex, Anything advertising any product, A plaid suit, A tutu, Underwear that didn’t come out of the package.

5 FAVORITE TV SHOWS (CURRENT)

Smallville, Charmed, Reba, Supernatural, Blue Color TV

5 FAVORITE TV SHOWS (LEGACY)

Star Trek, Space:1999, Magnum P.I., Hill Street Blues, The Six Million Dollar Man

5 FAVORITE TOYS

Um……….

5 PEOPLE WHO GET THIS MEME

I think this segment of the chain breaks here…

Agents of Fortune…

A happy 61st birthday to Eric Bloom of Blue Öyster Cult fame… The last opportunity I had to see B.O.C. was a year ago last September. All I can say is, they still ROCK! If I’m doing that well when I get to be their age I will consider myself lucky. Maybe there is something to be said for sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.

I have been a fan of B.O.C. for a long time now. A good friend of mine who also enjoys the writings of Michael Moorcock introduced me to their music when he found out that Moorcock had worked with Bloom in writing some lyrics for a few songs that B.O.C. performed. I first listened to those songs, then the rest of the album, and was hooked.

One of the best of their concerts I have seen was in Denver back in the early 90’s. It was a small venue, I was spitting distance from the stage, and they rocked the house for 2 ½ hours… Went off stage for about 20 minutes, and came back out and gave us 45 minutes more… I didn’t hear right for the next four days, but what an experience.

It’s hard to think of these guys getting to be that age, but then again, I have to look at how old I’m getting and how long I’ve been listening to their music… All of the sudden it’s hard to think of ME getting that old!! Oh well… Just wait until I’m about 95, in the nursing home, confined to a wheelchair, jamming to B.O.C. and yelling at a young nurse about my sponge bath!!!! I can hardly wait!!!

If you'd like to know more about B.O.C., click here and ENJOY!