We all face them… Really can’t make it through a single day without making one… And, I’m in the business of making decisions. I do it all the time, and where I like to think things out and review all the data I can before making a decision, I’m also usually accurate at making good decisions on the fly. But the one area where I seem unable to make good decisions is in my own personal relationships.
I have a major decision to make at the moment… Go back, or get out. There is a lot of data on this I have to work with from the past. And, I have some much different data to work with based on very recent conversations. I have no doubt of the sincerity of both parties concerned at this point, but that doesn’t mean anything will change for the positive.
Well… I have a little time left to mull things over before making a final commitment to what path I will select. I just keep thinking about an old Patty Smyth song, ‘Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough.’
Decisions… Unconscious… Decisions… Unconscious… Hummm… I do have that bottle of Bombay Blue…
About Me
- Morgan2112
- I am an…eclectic…individual with a soul as ancient as the multi-verse; I live by a code of Lawfulness, but one of my own design, and one which is anachronistic; I possess utter derision for the societies of the world today – I see them as a desecration of the potential eminence of humanity; I am no more than myself…
3 comments:
well "decisions" aren't all of a type, are they? troubleshooting a flaky server is really not like making the decision of where to live or who to live with. sure, there's data in all cases, but a broken machine or system has a "right" solution (or maybe a few right ones, depending on your level of improvisational engineering.) Existential decisions rarely have "right" answers, just "right now" answers (except, of course, for the ones that do have right answers, but they're jsut the exception that "proves" my rule!)
There's a line from a movie:
"I'd rather be alone for the right reasons, than with someone for the wrong ones."
It's pretty simple, but there's a lot of meaning within.
You deserve better than what you've been through. You may not think you do, but I'm telling you, you do. Plain and simple. It's not a plain and simple situation, but you've got to ask yourself how much more of this vomit-inducing roller-coaster relationship can you endure before your mental and emotional gears finally snap beyond repair?
You have to do something for you for a change. The greatest possession we have in this life is the one thing we can't see: our individuality. Don't lose yourself.
Remember the scene at the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark? You're Indiana Jones, you're holding on to the Golden Statue of Individuality, and there's a giant soccer ball rolling after you. She's at the end of the tunnel with a Control Gun waiting to take your statue away. What do you do?
Rewrite the scene, my friend. Rewrite the scene.
Comrade Morgan, my sympathies lie with aboynamedjimmy's advice: run, as far and fast as you can, back into your life, which has been on hold for most of the past twenty-odd years. You have had vacations back into your soul, back into being you, but for most of the time, well, I hate to say it, but you're lawful something. Be you, my friend, because despite my zen leanings, I don't believe in reincarnation: this is your one chance to tell a story by living a life. What story do you want to tell?
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