But What To Say...

I have never had cause to correspond with an incarcerated individual. In retrospect, I am thinking this is a good thing as it would seem, prima facie, that during the course of my life I have made wise decisions in those I call friend. This is not, however, to say that I have not the occasional lapse in good judgment or at the very least, my perceptions and intuitions have failed me, but all in all, the odds have favored me.

Twice so far, someone I called friend has committed an act that has greatly offended my sensibilities.

The first time this happened, the betrayal was against me personally, and my only thought was to remove the person from the planet. And to be totally honest, I still feel the same way every time I pause to think about the incident. The motto of the Montresors in Poe’s The Cask of Amontillado – Nemo me impune lacessit (No one provokes me with impunity) – has always been a personal favorite of mine. But I digress… Needless to say, the “friendship” was, is, and forever shall be dead to me.

The second time this happened, the betrayal was against me, but not personally. It was against my perceptions of someone I have known for more than a quarter of a century and it was the actions against others – of the type most reviled in our society - that I could not condone. And at present, their lack of control and judgment is being punished in the form of a multi-year incarceration.

Letters have been sent by this person to those of us who are known friends. To date, I know of no letters that have been drafted from us and returned in kind. The most recent letter received today indicates a high level of despair, longing, and need from our friend for some means of moral support. And yet… What do I say?

How is life behind bars suiting you? Made friends with any of the other offenders there yet? Anyone made you their “personal” friend yet? What is the shower scene like? How is the food? Heard from anyone else in the family, or have they pretty much disavowed you? What the HELL is wrong with you?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Well… We are friends… Nothing is going to change that simple fact. There is no requirement of friendship that stipulates one must like, understand, or condone any action taken by the other. So, I have been remiss and I need to make amends.

But what to say…